Tears and Joy together by the Wayside
Dear Inner Circle
I'm writing this note on Wednesday night because I have a 7.30 appointment in the morning followed by a funeral at Wayside at 10. By the time you get this, our funeral should be well under way. Tomorrow we bury a lovely man that was too young to die. Most  people are trained to keep a professional distance from the human pain that they work with - not so here. When we lose a friend, we feel the pain. It's probably true to say that there are many situations when we have nothing to do other than to feel the pain that is appropriate for the situation. Sometimes, its all there is. Tomorrow we will gather and talk about the laughter that we had because our friend was not only a damaged human being but he was one who developed a whimsical sense of humour that saw the funny side of many situations and was able to laugh in the face of suffering. It wasn't that the suffering was denied or even minimized - this particular sense of humour knew how to smile even while telling a tough story. Our mate showed us how to survive impossible odds. He knew brutality but never lost a sense of justice. He knew the cold shoulder of charity and yet was thankful for the meagre help that many times kept him alive. He was on the receiving end of racism on a grand scale and yet he was ready with a fascinating story for anyone who was up for a chat. We'll miss him and thank God that we met him.
There was a guy in the Chapel yesterday crying. I heard the sobs and was surprised to see a big man that I had never seen upset before. Actually, I've seen him cranky and if he had been telling us all off, I wouldn't have given him a second look, but he was crying. I sat next to him for a bit but he seemed unwilling or unable to talk. For a while he held my hand. Although neither of us said anything, I think that was my most important conversation of the week.
Another guy that I had a session with this week is a bloke that always wants to tell me about some invention that he is on the verge of producing. When I'm feeling dead, a conversation with this guy is like unintelligible noise and this week’s conversation did not start off well. He is currently thinking about a most crazy thing. I don't want to make fun of him here by naming his latest project but what I want to tell you is that our conversation became a great gift into my dead soul. While his idea was a bit mad, I started to see that this idea, along with all the ideas he ever has, are for the good of other people. He really wants to make a contribution to humanity and moves from one idea to the next looking for the thing that he will be able to give to the world. As I realized all of this I looked into his face in a fresh way and saw something beautiful and admirable. I left the conversation feeling much more alive than when it began and I am grateful for the gift that he gave me.
Last night we had a session at the Chapel called "gutter philosophy". The idea was to take a topic in philosophy and generate a discussion. We filled a room with mostly young but all very bright people and discussed the writings of Martin Buber. it was an immense honour and privilege to take the work of this brilliant Jewish philosopher and allow his work to speak to us. What a hoot and what a joy to talk to people who are prepared to think and question.
I literally spend some part of every day thanking someone for the contribution that they have made to our work with those who we meet by the wayside. This week, special thanks go to the team from PricewaterhouseCoopers and the team from St George.
Thanks for all of you who write some response to this note. I send some of your e mails around here in order to encourage various people on our team. It means a lot that we have people out there such as you who form our inner circle.
Graham
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